Why Is the Chocolate Gone?
by Kari Twilight Mist
Summary: Matt takes the subway to save money but hates the weirdos. When the car breaks down though, he may find a weirdo with a common interest savvy? Written for Alice4eva as a prize for coming second in The Fuzz Fanart Contest.


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this chapter or story!**

**Anonymous reviews enabled!**

Why Is the Chocolate Gone?

**This is a laaaate prize for **Alice4eva **for getting second place The Fuzz Fanart Contest. I've owed this for soooo long but the idea just came to me literally today. I'm sorry! D: Anyway they asked that Jack Sparrow be somehow included and this is what I came up with. ^^; So yeah **Alice4eva **I hope you like it and that it was worth the wait! :3**

Matt hated the subway with a fiery passion. It was cramped and noisy and smelled funny and was full of weirdos; Lots of weirdos. He only rode it during rush hour because he didn't want to waste gas sitting at a standstill for an hour. Unfortunately he wasn't the only person with that idea which meant the benches were always full. As the doors opened Matt crossed his fingers he'd get to sit next to someone normal for a change but felt his heart drop when a blonde girl in all black leather sat next to him. He had purposefully sat at the end of his bench so he would have only one seatmate but he rarely had any luck with them. The person's leather was scanty and may as well have been painted on it was so tight. It did reveal a telling bulge however. On closer inspection his seatmate was a _guy._.. but still a weirdo. The subway car took off again and the guy reached down his pants and pulled out a chocolate bar upon which he proceeded to munch. Matt quickly looked away with a grimace of disgust. He didn't want to let the guy see since he looked scary. Suddenly there was a lurch and the people standing were hurtled to the ground as the car stopped and the lights flickered off.

Immediately everyone panicked except Matt and the guy next to him until dim emergency lights flickered on. A blonde pigtailed girl in a Lolita outfit pulled out her pink phone with dozens of charms on the antenna and gasped yelling out to everyone there was a weak signal there. Almost everyone immediately took out their own phones as well. Matt leaned against the back of the car in boredom. He knew the guy in leather had no phone… unless he had it stored where his chocolate was. Lolita girl texted someone whom was most likely not the emergency services and a minute later the theme to _Pirates of the Caribbean _rang out signaling she had a reply.

Matt saw the man next to him crumple up his wrapper and heard him chuckle quietly. "Why is the chocolate gone?" he asked himself in a similar style to Jack Sparrow's classic line, "Why is the rum gone?"

Matt's jaw dropped at the luck of having a PotC fan for a seatmate. He grabbed the empty wrapper to the shock of the man. "Why thank you Jack" he said impersonating Captain Barbossa. The man's expression was stunned as he faced Matt. "Not you we named the monkey Jack" Matt added once he had his attention.

The man cracked a grin. He snatched the wrapper back and nuzzled it to his face. "Ooh, it's still warm" he said impersonating Captain Barbossa as well. He dropped it in his lap and turned to Matt as his grin grew wicked. "I'm Mello Keehl savvy?" he said in a good impersonation of Captain Jack Sparrow. He even got the facial expression right.

"Matt... Jeevas. I'm a butler in the Governor's household." Matt said somewhat mimicking Elizabeth Swann. He tried to recreate the way she said it and he saw in Mello's eyes it passed muster.

"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?" Mello asked stealing a line from Captain Jack Sparrow again. He leaned into Matt with an examining expression. His hand was midair in a Jack-esque pose as well. Matt fought the urge to swallow because, despite the playfulness, Mello seemed to radiate lurking danger.

"I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates" Matt replied quickly wracking his brain for Will's response. He tried not to let his relief show as Mello pulled back.

Matt grew uncomfortable again and blushed as Mello looked him up and down lustfully. He shivered slightly in arousal and fear which he was surprised he didn't find as bad as he would have expected. "You're not a eunuch are you?" Mello quoted and Matt internally facepalmed for not figuring someone like Mello would be daring enough to use that line. He looked around quickly and noticed no-one was paying attention then turned back to an amused Mello and blushed deeper.

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to agreeing your statement is true." That reply took a second to think up since the adaptation was more complex.

"It means no" Mello mused and his eyes lustfully gave Matt a once-over again. He spoke again in a lighter tone. "So you're a fan of the movies? Personally I'm a fan mainly for Jack Sparrow" he said, no longer adapting movie quotes.

"Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow" Matt corrected. "And yeah who doesn't like a hot swaggering pirate in guyliner?" He grinned at that.

Mello nodded unsurprised Matt had called him hot. He reached inside his padded vest and pulled an eyeliner pencil from an inner pocket and winked then put it back. Matt looked closer and saw he did indeed have guyliner on. Matt was sort of surprised Mello had nodded. Then again, with a gaydar reading like Mello's it was possible Mello had a strong sensor Matt hypothesized. He wouldn't really know though. Mello rested his arms on the back of the bench which meant his arm was behind Matt's head. Matt allowed it; thankful for the padding even though Mello's arms were all lean muscle. Mello lazily added, "Not to mention his constantly buzzed demeanor and catchy phrases of distorted logic."

Matt nodded in agreement. "Plus he is a good guy despite the front he puts up."

"Rather sardonic at times too" Mello mused and pursed his lips. "Personally, between him and Will I'd go for him in a heartbeat."

Matt nodded. "We have a definite accord there. Did you know Johnny Depp completely reinvented his character? Captain Jack Sparrow was supposed to be a ruthless, swarthy scalawag."

Mello nodded slowly. "I had heard that. I'm glad he did because the Captain Jack Sparrow in the movies is sheer genius. His quirks and personality and overall being make him an incredible character. It's not easy to be comic relief in one minute then serious and plot driven the next but it's pulled off with style in every scene it involves. Plus it makes him unpredictable. A tough scalawag making the decisions_ this _Jack does wouldn't work at all." Matt nodded in sharp agreement. Mello uncharacteristically looked away and bit his lip. "I live near the next stop. I hate walking though because I have to cross two extremely busy roads without any crosswalks." He used his free arm to scratch the back of his neck. "When this moves again would you like come to my place for a _Pirates _marathon? I know we're practically strangers but it could help us get to know each other."

"And we would drink up me hearties yo ho?" Matt asked coyly. He had a feeling that going to Mello's would be a good idea in the long run or he may lose him.

"The rum is _never _gone" Mello replied back cheekily with eyes filled with happiness. Suddenly the subway lurched and took off again and a staticy voice apologized over the intercoms saying the situation was fixed. Whatever this "situation" was, wasn't specified though which caused a bunch of grumblings to break out from the other passengers. Matt and Mello simply looked into each other's eyes though. _He's not a weirdo_ Matt thought then noticed the wicked gleam in Mello's eye. _He's a pirate._

**I just realized both of my prizes are in third person point of view which is odd because I hate writing in that style. o.0 Proof of that is that halfway through this I wrote a few 'I's and 'me's then realized my mistake and fixed it.**

**And yes Misa made a cameo but only because she fit the part best. Seriously everyone else would be OOC even by this fic's standards. I apologize.**


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